LETTING GO

Every time something changes, every time something goes out of my life, I have a choice to let go or resist letting go and causing myself some grief.

This past week the critter (I still suspect beaver) got the rest of Ron's rose bushes, his sister took the El Camino, and today his youngest daughter drove off in his Honda. Each of these had a tie to Ron* and each were another piece of my memory of our life together. I can't do anything about the rose bushes and I didn't need or want the El Camino per se. I have a car so I don't need the Honda either. It isn't a matter of needs or wants or a matter of what makes sense. Little by little another piece of my former life is being chipped away. The chipping hurts but if I can let go, there is peace. In between experiencing the loss and the letting go, there is a space, a hole, that begs to be filled. There are many things people can use to fill these holes – many of these are more harmful than good. But letting go begins the healthy process of filling the holes.

If we live long enough we get to practice letting go many, many times. We can either become bitter and compressed or we can learn to let go and expand and open ourselves to blessings ahead.

As I am typing this, a picture and memory came into my head out of the blue. A few years ago about this time of year, Ron and I had taken a trip. He bought a throw pillow for me that he said that suited me. On it were printed the words, "Joy frees the Spirit". I think this memory came to me as I was writing to remind me that joy is found in letting go and Joy frees the Spirit. It isn't easy to do but the alternative is to be sad or angry. Joy is so much better and worth the effort – every time.

*http://cancervigil.blogspot.com/